…in an overrated world

Broken January 21, 2019

Filed under: Uncategorized — susannahere @ 1:37 am

Originally posted on Suzytwoshoes

My life fell apart in 2017

It didn’t fall discretely

It was sudden and intense

It fell apart

And you stood there

Watching me flail

Watching me hurt

And did nothing

I’m not blaming you

For what happened to me

It was a spontaneous combustion of misfortune

But you weren’t there for me

You didn’t talk to me

Didn’t ask me how I was doing

Didn’t ask me if I needed help

Because I did

My life was falling apart, and I didn’t know why

I didn’t ask for this

To have a broken brain

To fall apart in front of hundreds of people

To be rejected by so many because of my mess

I’m a person

You didn’t treat me like a person

I’m still a person

broken in a world that can’t fix me

But I’m still a person


Me January 20, 2019

Filed under: poems — susannahere @ 11:26 pm
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Here she is.

Who is she?

Why is she here?

What is she doing?

She didn’t know what to do

when she was looking there at you.

She didn’t know what to say

when you said she was ok.

Maybe she is, but maybe she’s not

That’s all I got



Loving Her January 13, 2019

Filed under: Uncategorized — susannahere @ 2:55 am
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Originally published on suzytwoshoes

And in that moment, as she lay crying on the floor, she knew that, all this time, she had been there. With her. For her. By her side. Even when she hated her she was still there, absorbing the blows. She had been there from the moment she took her first breath. She knew her. She knew her better than anyone else ever could know her. She had experienced every heartbreak, every trauma, every joy with her. Yes she had been there all along. And now she was learning to love her. To cherish her kindred spirit. Herself.


Forgetful August 8, 2018

Filed under: Uncategorized — susannahere @ 10:10 pm
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The darkness is far behind me

I know this

Your light is within me

I know this

but I need you to remind me sometimes

The war is won and over

I know this

Your love has conquered death

I know this

I just need you to remind me sometimes

I’m sorry I’m forgetful and full of doubt

When I was in the valley you pulled me out

Sometimes its hard to see

The light that shines in me

It feels so dim when I’m alone

So could you remind me once more

of the plans you have in store

because I feel a little hopeless sometimes




If November 10, 2015

Filed under: Uncategorized — susannahere @ 5:08 am
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she was in the dark

she was always in the dark

her world was dark

her mind was dark

she knew nothing

her mind was full of ifs

demented, dark ifs

no certains

no definitelys


clouded her thoughts

paralyzed her

tore her apart


consumed her life

ruined her mind

kept her in the dark


Impostor November 9, 2015

Filed under: Uncategorized — susannahere @ 7:50 pm
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I’m an impostor in my own world

I don’t deserve to sit on these steps

where far worthier and more accomplished and better people have sat

I don’t belong in this hall

this hall that was built by admirable hands

who am I to be in the presence of this person

who am I to like this thing

who am I

an impostor


Sonnet December 5, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — susannahere @ 3:05 am
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I need you like an arid land needs rain

Fully quenching its overwhelming thirst

When I am in the midst of stress and pain

You’re here and I’m no longer at my worst

 An imbecile, I think I can make do

Though on my own I’m worthless, I’ll admit

I often forget how much I need you

I need you, though how much I oft’ forget

 But you have no need for me in the least

I am an ant; you are a tow’ring tree

What use is a mere mouse to a huge beast?

My need for you far greater yours for me

 You don’t need me at all that much is true

And yet your love surpasses mine for you